this girl.....our kaitlyn grace....turns 20 tomorrow!!!  this girl.....who's name was given by God before we even knew she was a she or that I was even pregnant for that matter...kaitlyn grace....means 'pure grace'.  this girl....has such a call on her life that the enemy has tried in various ways in her 20 short years to take her down and out....this girl...was born in the car on the way to the hospital.  the story is one that will be told many, many more times, because it is so funny and sooooo kaitlyn.  i used to say....we could have been IN the hospital and she would have waited till we were out of it to be born.  I will absolutely write about her birth...another time.  this day is to celebrate all that God has done in her life.  all that she is.  all that she is going to be.  she is a precious jewel in the crown I wear called motherhood.  of course, being 20 {and a girl}, says a lot of  {unsaid} things about our relationship.  we have had so many ups and downs and God keeps her near to my heart...and I know his.   this girl....the one who decided she needed to move away to stretch her wings.....the wings I purpose to NOT clip--only i want to so badly so that she stays close to home....always....but god told me long ago that she would not stay close....he told me she is like an Amy Carmichael--only in the opposite way...see, its a good thing for me she was born in the car...God knew I needed that....that there would be no mistake she was mine.  and with skin the color of hers...there would have been some question ;) ....when she was 2, she told me she wanted a black baby doll...because their legs were dark like hers.  she used to say when she grew up, she wanted to be white, like her older sister.....God showed me...that she would easily be able to go into countries that others would not be able to--because of her coloring and her eyes....she has the blackest eyes i have ever seen....so beautiful...so open to what God has....so vulnerable.  yet, she is one smart cookie....and funny...our family has never laughed like we do when kaitlyn is in one of her funny moods....

we have said over the years that god knew what he was doing in naming her....that it has taken pure grace to raise this daughter....but i am learning that he named her also for the pure grace she shows to me....her mom...in my many mistakes in raising her, in loving her or in failing to love her the way i should....he knew her before she was born....i have learned so many of my parenting skills just from this one. little. bitty. girl.

happy birthday, my sweet kk.  you are loved beyond measure and i hope and pray you feel it deep in your heart.  i pray that the in the next 20 years, you will continue to see the hand on god on your life...that you see the hard things in life as treasures and that HE loves you more than you can imagine.