growing up, Halloween and trick or treating was a favorite memory and tradition. once i became a christian, it became the 'bad' holiday....there was no way i was going to participate in it--to the point of hiding in the backest bedroom with the shades drawn and a small tv brought into the room for us to watch a movie, eat popcorn and try to drown out the ding dongs of the door bell. our children were taught to be afraid--very afraid of halloween, people who dressed up and anyone who came to the door. NOW...I am not saying it is something to be celebrated like easter, but to be afraid of it??? My mindset was challenged with a 'light up' campaign our church did...and i was challenged! once we embraced the idea {a year or 2 later} we had a blast! We had an old victorian home with a HUGE wrap around porch and we had a party-bringing tv and veggie tales out, gladly handing out candy, chatting with the neighbors and telling all who came by that jesus loved them. we did that for a few years, but there was still a spirit of fear around the day and night, until.....

4 years ago, on the 31st, I was running errands with my 2 littlest girls. the others were in school for first time--ever. Their dad had moved out months before and it was a dark time in my life and i am sure the children's. as i was running errands, this little girl--4 years old--from the her car seat in the back of the van, asked what it meant to ask jesus into her heart. WOW...talk about making a mom's heart stop and do a flip flop. I talked her through it, while looking through the rear view mirror. She told me she wanted to pray and ask him to come inside her heart, and pray we did!!! I asked her older sister if she wanted to, too and she said no :) {she did about a year later}. As we were finishing up our running around, i heard god say to allow the kids to trick or treat tonight and take back ground that the enemy had taken....I will say, I still do not understand why god said that and what good will come of it...BUT...I will also say, we had THE.MOST.FUN. that night. We did not have costumes to speak of, and when I told the kids they could go, they ran upstairs and made the most creative costumes out of pjs that I have ever seen :) . They could only stay on our street (about 20 houses long) and they had a blast!!! I wish I had taken pictures, but my heart was really not in it and i was not thinking of the memory we were making. I hate that.

one of my older children called my oldest and said ' you would not believe what mom is letting the kids do'...i took the phone and my oldest was crying. i asked why...was she angry with me? she said 'no, mom, i am so happy for them. they have a new mom....one i didn't have'.....oh, man...broke my heart! And made me rejoice at the same time....

this year it may look different. This will be the first year the children are 'with' me, as they have been with their dad for halloween since that first one. God told me to not do the same thing out of default--out of being on automatic :) . we are contemplating celebrating all saints day instead.

talking to one of my older daughters, though, she has very fond memories of 'hiding out' and loves telling all her trick-or-treating friends of her different experience.

our first trick-or-treating experience will always hold a special place in my heart...and I know HIS