several years back, during our homeschooling season, we went to a conference.  at some point in the conference the subject of names came up and the meaning of them.  the point was made that parents prophetically name their children...more times than not, without realizing it.  I was captured by this thought.  i knew god had given me the names of my children, but i didn't really see how it was prophetic.  i won't go into the details of what he showed me about my children.  no....this one's about me :)

we have been going through some fiery trials of late.  i am sure i will be sharing all that god is doing through them, once i can process it all, but one thing that has been huge through this is my identity....seeing myself as god sees me.  i am sharing 'my story' at a ladies retreat coming up soon and to share it all--putting it all out there--is a bit of a shock to the system.  all of a sudden i see myself through the eyes of what {i think} others must see when they hear my story.  it is a story with an ugly beginning and middle, but the end is and will be the most beautiful story ever told.  because it is of his redemption.

this week, during our devotional times before school, i read to the kids about how peter was named peter, which means 'rock'.  he was anything but that in the natural...to the naked eye.  but god saw further than that.  he saw his heart.  he saw the man he first thought of when he created peter.  this brought me back to the original thinking that we are prophetically named.

now, my parents were not following god, not listening to him or even interested in him as far as i can tell.  but god had them name me.  as much as i have toiled through the names of my children, i have never EVER thought of what my name meant.  yesterday i looked it up.  it brought me to tears.  see, this is who i want to be.  and it the natural, it looks like a joke.

i have to trust who god says i am.  i know he saw in me my heart and my heart's desire before i was even born.  he had my mom name me what i would become.....through him....