I shared this with a special group of women this morning and know god told me to post it here, also.

i have been really struggling lately with who i am and what my purpose is.  i am reaching the season when my children don't need me {as much} and while i love, love , LOVE being at home, i know i have a call on my life and i also know i need to help with the family income.  not necessarily on a regular basis, but for when things come up....and with my family, a birthday is always coming up ;)

i have been truly, abundantly blessed with the ability to do many things.  i have a heart to serve and work with women.  i have a heart to see and highlight beauty--whether through photography, the written word, the healing of a wounded heart, the light of recognition and peace in the eyes of a child who has been a bit rebellious.....through food, through laughter, through cups of coffee, through a beautiful room.

i have found myself questioning what i am to be 'doing'.  what 'my life call' is.  just yesterday, i got a call from someone who wanted to talk to me about my resume that i had recently submitted.  i got all excited and as i hung up, i felt this overwhelming need to know if 'this was it'...if THIS is what i have been called to.  i started crying out to God.....

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??????  WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO???????

the next thing.

what?????

the next thing.  all i am asking you to do is the next thing.

this morning as i was waking up, i heard this phrase again...the next thing.  i asked--what does that mean?

you want a job, you want a name, you want a title, you want a label.  you want a plan...you want to know....i have no labels for you.  you are my child.  i have gifted you with what i want you to have for the reasons that only i know of.  rest in that.  be at peace.  know that i am leading you and as long as you are willing to follow, there are no mistakes.  there are no wasted days.

ok...i have to say here...i have felt feel that there are many days that i sit at home and read, listen to my worship music, look at pictures, talk to a friend.  and on those days, i feel i have wasted them.  i have to fight the lie that i am lazy--see my post on strongholds--(and for future reference: i will be posting about what to do once you realize you have believed a lie.....)

so to hear god speak that what i am doing is exactly what he has called me to do and that i am not wasting days is a HUGE brain twist.  now.  my heart so hears it and just sings to hear it....but the world....my tie to the world and what it might think of me really gets in the way.....

so, as i was reflecting on this truth, he brought back a post i did a ways back.....you can read it here.....and it brings it all back into perspective.

so, as i wrestle with who i am and what my job is, this picture came across my computer.  i love it.  it represents who i am in god's eyes.....