agreements

strongholds

have you or any of your children ever played this little game?  if i had a dollar for every time one of mine did this, i would be living on the beach ;)

i wish i could say i have outgrown this little game, but i am beginning to see how i continue to play it daily....but with much more serious consequences than spaghetti sauce on my face.

this little game...the 'look, mom, i'm in jail' game whopped me upside the head a while back and God is not letting it out of my sight.....he is showing me that this is what a stronghold looks like...from the outside.  from the inside view, this little prison can seem so big and so captivating.  when in reality, all i have to do is change my perspective--see it from the outside view.

a stronghold, i am learning is a lie i have chosen to believe {about myself} that has me in a prison of my own making.  it may be something that was spoken over me when i was younger--by an angry mom, an abusive dad, a well meaning, but misdirected correction from a teacher--or of late, an ex-husband who no longer wanted to be married to me and looked {and still looking} for ways to prove his opinion of me and his justification of leaving.

the lies can be so innocuous....'i need to weigh a certain number before i can be of any worth', 'you will never amount to anything', 'its a good thing you look good, because you can't do anything else', 'i must be everything to everyone in my home {and outside it} to be of any value', 'if my house isn't clean {at all times}, i am a failure' 'i had it {insert whatever *it* is} coming'......and one of the latest (i am being very honest and transparent) is that i am 'certifiably nuts'--the list goes on and on and on......

the truth is none of this is true...

i have been able to see some of them and dispel them....speak truth against them.  some of them kick me in the rear and keep me down....all of my own doing, of course. no one has the right to speak to me other than my father, and he speaks only truth.....and not one word of what i have heard in my head is what he speaks to my heart....not one.

i am beginning to see that letting go of a stronghold can be very difficult....lots of work is involved in 'unbelieving' a lie, but it can also be as simple as taking the fork out from in front of my eye.....

who said?????

Jeremiah 1:5--"Before I made you in your mother's womb, I chose you.  Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work.

the enemy has been working overtime on me....

well, he began when i was very young, probably earlier than i can remember....there were so many things that came against me...so many wounds, so many lies.  and i believed those lies for most of my life.  one of the turning points toward healing for me was when i realized that with every lie he tried to speak over me, it was the counterfeit to one of the name{s} that GOD spoken over me when HE first thought of me.  it was a sneaky ploy and i believed it...and still struggle from time to time...you know those times when you mess up and all you can hear is "what were you THINKING", or  " you will NEVER get this one right", or  "you did it AGAIN"....you get the point, i don't need to repeat all the bad stuff....but what i have learned is that when something hurts--when someone has bumped up against a bruise of a wound (even a healing one), or when i mess up and feel horrible about it, it triggers old thoughts and if i am not careful, i end up down a spiral--as i like to call them :)  I am learning to stop and feel the pain, then i try to think through the lie that was spoken over me--and if i have repeated it (aloud or to myself-which almost always happens) then i have at some point come into an agreement with it--i purpose to find  the truth of what God says about me--what HE thought of when he first thought of me, and speak those words....i am learning-ever so slowly--to not listen to the whispers of the enemy, but to listen to the word that HE has spoken over me and named me...."precious daughter", "overcomer", "beautiful",  "beloved", "lover of truth"...etc.....

i have a choice who to believe.....and i am learning to discern where the little whispers are coming from and stand up and say......"who says"....

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