Sugar free sweetened condensed milk

you know that yummy goodness that is the base ingredient for all kinds of wicked weight gaining food items. 

we now have a sugar free option. using truvia or pyure as the sweetener.  oh my. 

well, i have tried to make this (with little to no success on the stove top. it takes way too much attention for this chick. and stirring. lol. i've scorched more batches than i'd like to say. 

so. instant pot to the rescue. yep. it's turned 3 ingredients into creamy, sweet gold. 

sugar free sweetened condensed milk 

• 2 cups heavy whipping cream 
• 1/4 cup sweetener (I use pyure...truvia or swerve will work well also 
• 4 Tbl butter 

for the instant pot, i combine all ingredient, secure my pot lid and set it on manual for 25 minutes and then let it naturally release (which could take another 25). if it's not thick enough for your taste and needs, you can hit sauté and stir it until it thickens for you. 

that's it!  oh. if you want stove top, just put all that in a pan and heat to boiling, lower heat and stir constantly until thick-about 40 minutes. 

let cool-or don't-i am constantly tempted to not drink, i mean eat it with a spoon. 

you now have your base for hello dollies, ice cream, cheese cake or I've been using it in my hot chocolate recipe Here. 

just recently i've been mixing fresh squeezed lemon or lime juice on some and fighting off the kids so I can eat it in peace 

my lighthouse

lots of life has been happening recently, and god is so faithful and so good to keep putting me in situations that cause me to deal with things that have kept me from walking in the freedom he has called me to and desires for me.

its no secret that i have been on a quest for my heart. i am determined to push through whatever i need to, to get to the other side to freedom.

in the past few weeks and months, some of my {very far past} choices have resurfaced (some,if not most-- i am not proud of). This has caused me to go to great depths reflecting, remembering and then, ultimately, of mourning and grieving. mourning losses that 1, i never allowed myself to acknowledge or feel and 2, of what might have been or what could have been.

what a tightrope walk of grieving the loss of what could have been had choices been made differently, and at the same time, rejoicing in the life i have, knowing god works all things together for those who love him and diligently seek him {in spite of our choices}. i love him (as best i know how) and i diligently seek him (again, as best as i know how) so i HAVE to trust that what he has worked in my life is for my good and his glory.

grief, i am learning, comes in like waves; fits and starts and it really has no rhyme or reason for its course. this photo, taken on my last trip to the west coast, was such a picture of what grief feels like to me right now. its like the most powerful waves.....building so far out that i can hardly recognize whats coming....just little bumps on the surface. but then, the waves grow and build until they overtake....they swirl and bang against the walls of the heart and soul.....creating all kinds of turmoil....and then they recede to back to where they came from.....leaving {me} at times wondering what just hit only to see it gone again......that grief.....wow. and then what i know is that he is there....for me....always.....standing tall, standing strong, causing me to look up and look out at his glory, his magnificence.....he IS

my lighthouse..........

Mayonnaise

 

 I have been getting a TON of questions about my being on the Trim Healthy Mama plan. 

I've been able to follow it and adapt it to my family very easily. I tend to do better on low carb eating anyway, which means higher, good fats.  Darn. 

I've been on the quest to eating as clean as possible and once I knew I could eat mayo without guilt and actually read the label, I could no longer eat it without guilt. The crap in a jar of mayonnaise is staggering. Go check it out. It's a jar o junk. 

So I decided to make my own. Very easy. Very. I'm so impressed with myself ;) 

I have find it doesn't last NEARLY as long as the store bought, because, well, all the JUNK to keep its shelf life longer. So I make it a small batch at a time and LOVE LOVE LOVE it. 

Mayonnaise 

• 1 egg 
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp Dijon mustard 
• 1 tsp white wine vinegar 
• Juice of half a lemon-a fresh lemon 
• 3/4 Cup avocado oil 

I mix mine in, what else, a mason jar :) Mix all the ingredients except oil. Whisk together-I use a hand held whisk attachment on my hand held blender. Whisk til blended. Then slowly-ever so slowly, add your oil. Blend til thick and creamy and mayonnaise-y. 

I use avocado oil because it's pretty much flavorless and light. 

Your flavor options are endless. Add a clove of minced garlic, some chopped rosemary, use apple cider vinegar or red wine or even balsamic vinegar instead of the white wine vinegar. 

I use it for anything and everything you'd use mayonnaise for. I pretty much have to control the urge to lick the beater. It's that good. 

salad in a jar Q/A and my kitchen wall :)

 

 many questions have been asked since i posted my salad picture yesterday and while i don't have the monopoly on answers ;) i will answer to my experience and what i did to make these salads THM workable. 

Q.  how long do they last?

• i have had these last up to 2 weeks.  i do think packing them tightly is what keeps them so fresh.  the other trick is to keep your dressing as far away from your greens as possible.  i actually like doing this so much more than daily preparing a salad, because once i have thought and planned, i don't have to think again on my meal choice, either for lunch or when the rest of the family wants something NOT THM friendly.  it also makes the greens last MUCH longer than when they are in their bulk containers.

Q.  what kind of jars and where do you get them?

• i kinda covered this in my first post about these little gems.  i use mason or ball jars.  i have also used walmart brand.  they are canning/jelly jars.  they are in the area with storage/canning supplies or pickling supplies.  i have found them at target, walmart, true value stores and grocery stores.  i use mason jars for EVERY. STINKIN. THING. so i have them lying around.  i don't like the metal rings as they rust easily and there are 2 parts to keep up with.  the plastic lids can be found in the same section with the jars.  this is a great time to stock up on them because with the gardening season comes canning season. but any jar with a lid will do.  i have tried these with plastic containers but the salads just don't last as long.  these jars are the widemouth pint and quart.  

Q.  do you have to seal them, vacuum pack, etc? 

• nope

Q.  what kind of protein do i use?

• again, i covered this a bit in my last post but i keep getting questions.  i use chicken, turkey (either cooked at home or deli meat--boars head without fillers, sugars, etc.)  i have used ground beef as taco meat.  one of my favorites is to buy a package of salami and pepperoni and chop that up and make it an italian type salad.  i will usually take a boiled egg with me to put on top as there is barely room for anything else and taking an egg is not a big deal.  

Q. what kind of dressings?

• i typically make my own but the creamy one in the photo is one i found at whole foods.  its a white cheddar and doesn't have all the junk most dressings have.

Q.  what other salads can you make?

• again, i found these on pinterest.....you can too!  if you don't eat THM, its your choice.  if you do follow the THM plan, find a recipe you like and just substitue or leave out what makes it not on plan for you.  i typically do well with a cross over meal tossed in frequently, so i just make sure the ingredients are still on plan.

any more questions?  i am happy to answer what i know and what i don't, i will make up and act like i know ;)

oh...and my wall, LOL....i may have gotten more questions about this than the jars.  as  you can see its in need of some TLC, but when we moved in this house, it was VERY 90's with floral wallpaper EVERYWHERE.  we had just moved from a 100 year old victorian and i wanted to keep my stuff and the look.  i wanted my kitchen to look like a farm house/kitchen.  we decided to keep the wall paper and paint over it to 1) save money and 2) keep the smooth walls.  I LOVE IT.  i have several kitchen gadgets from flea markets and my grandma and also decided to hang my cast iron skillet.  voila.  nothing spectacular but its mine and i love it.

trim healthy mama and how i make it work for me.

last august i found this eating plan completely by accident.  my dr had prescribed apple cider vinegar to be taken daily.  this became a little more than  i could tolerate well...as in i couldn't choke it down any more.  i posted something on facebook about needing to find another way to chug it and all these comments about good girl moonshine kept poppin up.  when i googled that (secretely hoping it had tequila in it) THM was mentioned in almost every post.  i looked that up and i have been on a get healthier journey that is finally working for me.  if you want to know more, google it....what did i ever do before google?????  if you want to hear more about my own personal journey with THM, i am HAPPY to oblige.  

it has been a trial and error situation for me, and add in beginning to work full time, i had a challenge on how to make this continue working for me.  i have some regular things that work well and i would love to write about it all, but you can find most of what i do on pinterest or facebook.   BUT.  i have made it work for ME.  

this is one of those things.  i have seen these little jewels on pinterest for years now and been afraid to try them.  i LOVE salads!  but only when someone else does all the prep work.  I love salad bars but they are too pricey for me.  and i NEEEEED more salads in my life.  so.   i decided to bite the bullet and try these out.  I LOVE THEM.  i take them to work daily and they are so good and i feel so much better first knowing i'm eating better and then i feel better because i AM eating better.  

i will explain more about the science behind what i do, but for now (and it will only make sense to those already eating this way) i will tell how i make these salads fit into the plan.  

i have made most of these 'S' meals, which means they are high protein, high fat/low carb.  Some are 'E' but not as much because i don't do well on high protein, high carb/low fat.  

to keep this from being too long on details when all you want is the specifics, i will get to it.  

these can be any size jar.  the big quart size make a nice salad to share or to feast on.  i made them this size first and they were too big...time wise and appetite wise.  i had to throw much more out than i wanted, so went to the pint size.  they are perfect for me.  

i think glass makes a difference in the staying power of the greens.  i haven't tried anything else, but what i have read makes me want to stick with mason jars.  and honestly, i have mason jars coming out my ears because I LOVE MASON JARS.  I DID purchase the plastic lids because i don't like to deal with rust.  

the key is the layering order.  you want the dressing to stay as far away from the greens as possible.  so...what i do and did here is in the order i put them is

• dressing
• grape tomatoes (not too many if your doing an 'S' meal
• zucchini
• cucumbers
• bellpeppers
• purple onion (again...not too much)
  

basically any vegetable that being merinaded in the dressing won't hurt or will make it better--broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus...you get the idea. 

then...i put in either seeds, nuts, olives or avocado, or grains or beans (if I am making an E)

next would come cheese/meats.  if i am doing an E, i use fat free feta.  for meats, i have used what i have or i go buy specific meats for what i want.  i really like pepperoni and salami cut up with parmesean and cheddar.  i have used taco meat and made a taco salad.  i have used left over baked chicken for both S and E meals. i put the cheese in first and then the meat.  

then comes the greens.  this is fun because i can use greens that i typically wouldn't buy.  i buy the big containers of probably spinach and then 'power' greens.  i stuff stuff stuff the top of the jar to the point i have to hold it in to put the lid on.  

i put the lid on and put them all in the frig in order of what fuel source they are.  

you HAVE to get them full to over the top brimming to keep them fresh.  

DRESSINGS:

I have several favorites and for the most part I make them myself. 

by the nature of dressings, they would typically be an S but what i do is switch out half the oil with water.  Can't even tell.  

two of my favorites so far are:

HERB VINAIGRETTE 

• 1/2 Cup Olive oil
• 1/4 Cup ACV
• 1/4 Cp Braggs Aminos
• 2 cloves garlic, crushed
• 1 Tablespoon dijon
• Juice of 1 lemon
• 1 1/2 teaspoon thyme
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper

mix together in a jar

STRAWBERRY VINAIGRETTE

• 1/4 Cup olive oil
• 2 Tablespoons sugar free strawberry preserves
• juice of 1 lime
• 2 Tablespoons white wine vinegar
• salt and pepper 
  

mix together in a jar

i use about 2 tablespoons of dressing in the bottom of my jars. 

i will post answers to most of the questions i have gotten in my next post......later tonight or tomorrow.  

tradition

it used to be that when one of our children turned 13, we celebrated it like no other birthday--its the milestone of becoming a teenager and being given more adultlike privileges (and responsibility--shhhh).

as the children have gotten older and particularly with divorce, it has been hard to keep up with tradition. the boys' celebrations haven't ever been as elaborate as the girls' have been but there is always a celebration for everyone--a passage of rites, so to speak.

for the girls, it is a time to start the big girl things.....13 is the year for make-up, nail polish and pierced ears.....and all on the same day. the day calls for all girls in the family over the age of 13 to participate in coffee, facials, manis and pedis, ear piercings, eyebrow waxings, and lunch.

this is autumn's year and since reagan was the only one left under 13, autumn decided she wanted her to come too. it was very difficult to find a time when ALL the adult sisters could make it ALL at the same time. well, we actually didn't even get THAT. we had all the sisters for one part or another. what a lesson in being flexible and grateful for what we do have and the time we DO get to spend together.

only 1 more 13th birthday to celebrate.

an unloved woman

i recently returned from serving on an event that ministers to and speaks to women and who (and whose) they are. one of the speakers mentioned a bible verse that was like a 2x4 between the eyes to me.

now, the humor in this to me, is that while homeschooling and using the curriculum we did for most of our 18 years of home education, we read this verse no less than one day each month of the year (with the exception of February, since the calendar never reached this date). i never saw this scripture this way.

it is:

Proverbs: 30:21 and 23. 'under 3 things the earth quakes, and under 4 it cannot bear up: under an unloved woman when she gets a husband'.

these passages speak VOLUMES to me. i have been that unloved woman. how many women do you know, or you are yourself, who wasn't loved growing up? doesn't love herself? and doesn't know the love our God has for her? when we marry and are not loved or don't know that love, we look to a man to complete us or fulfill in us only those things God can. and are we surely disappointed? and are others in us? and how miserable we make everyone around us? WOW....i had never seen this verse like this or understood it this way.

we as women have GOT to get to the place we know who we are, WHOSE we are, that we are loved, we love ourselves and allow God to heal those wounds of being unloved as children. only then can we truly walk and love in freedom.

my prayer for me and mine and really any i walk with is:

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God~Ephesians 3:16-19

how do you like your eggs?

i am sure you have seen the movie 'the runaway bride'. if not, this is a good time to watch it....i plan on doing that today. i had seen it years ago when it came out, but apparently, it didn't make too much of an impact on me at the time.

i was in a counseling session the other day and my counselor jumped up and clicked on youtube on her computer. i was a bit confused on what i said that prompted this quick action, but went with it.

she pulled up a clip of this movie and, while the chinese subtitles were a bit distracting, i watched not knowing what i was looking for. then all of a sudden, i was a puddle of tears. this one section of the movie {and i truly don't remember this part or much of the movie at all} pierced my heart.

if you haven't seen it, or don't remember, this portion is about how the main character (Julia Roberts) was told by (Richard Gere) that she didn't even know how she liked her eggs. Her response was surprise and then the movie clips back to several relationships she has and the man orders her eggs for her.....and its always the way HE likes them...never asking her how she wanted them. The next clip is of her standing before at least a dozen different plates with eggs prepared different ways.

my whole life-up to this point-is of being and doing and acting the way others have asked, told or intimated they wanted me to. i didn't even know it.

i have been taking care of others' needs for so long, i have never learned how to take care of mine {in a healthy way}. there are many times when i don't even know what i like or how i should feel or what i should or even want to do in a given situation.

i would venture to say i am an empath. but i am not sure it has been beneficial for anyone, much less me ;)

when i saw this clip, i realized others have told me how i like my eggs...or clothes, or colors, or tv shows or, or, or.............what i saw was the potential to find out what it is i like, who i am, who i was created to be.......

taking care of others need and being who they have wanted me to be has been a survival issue. it is probably the only reason i am alive today.....i learned to play the parts needed to get by. but i am moving beyond that and i am having to stand on what i know and like and believe. and it is scary and raw and real and vulnerable.

and i am standing before many plates of 'eggs'....tasting, trying, deciding and listening......to my heart. to what i know is in there but hasn't been allowed to come out.

so....do you know how you like your eggs?

chasing rainbows, waterfalls and sunsets

this summer has to be one of my most favorite. at the beginning of the year, i prayed asking for specific words for 2013.  i got 4 words.  i asked for 3 but got 4.  the 4th one is truly a hearts desire for me but i realize i have stuffed it and kept it hidden (maybe not?).....the 3 words are irrelevant for this post, but the 4th.....ah.  the word was travel.  i actually tried to dismiss it, but realized i just couldn't and be true to myself.  i won't go into all the travels i have done this year that make that word so meaningful, but one of the trips was red river, new mexico....we actually went 2 times this summer.

the first time we went, we stayed pretty close to base and helped how and when we could for the purpose we went.  the second time, i realized i was missing out on some things that were important to me, personally.....

in the valley of red river, the town, the sun rises and sets beyond the mountains.  we are in a bowl like setting and i never saw a full sunrise (not that those usually fit my schedule) or a full sunset.

we have one day completely to ourselves during the week of activities we went up for.  i told the kids to be prepared to be gone from early (was not going to torture them for the sunrise) til after the sunset.  everyone was game......until the waiting game came along.  LOL....by about 5 they were READY to go home.

we  i, i mean, WE had a blast.  we ate out, got baked goods from a top rated bakery, shopped, got ice cream from our favorite place in taos, drove around and saw sites and then drove up the mountain to the ski area.....we hung out there for a bit and on the way back down, we saw a black bear.  that was pretty exciting and got everyones blood pumping just a bit.

while we were up on the mountain, the complaints began.....the need for a bathroom, the 'i'm bored' s started, the questions of how long this was gonna take and what time was it (they all have phones and watches, mind you), and 'when did i say we were going home?'.....

this all started to chip away at me and at the same time it began to cloud over and rain.  i thought 'well, cr@p....let's just hang this one up'....so we started down the mountain and that's when we saw a bear.

excitement....but no picture ;)

then, as we made it to the foot of the mountain the kids pointed out the rainbow.  they got so excited....everyone was taking turns out the sun roof, taking pictures.

we made our way to the gorge bridge.  i really wanted to see the sunset from there, but realized once there that the hill we were on would block us from seeing the sun hit the horizon.

that's when the fun really began.  we raced back to the car and fled through the open roads to a spot we could see the sun set.  windows down, breezes blowing....it was so much fun.  everyone was laughing and watching the sun and having a great time.

i realized after the sun had gone down beyond taking pictures, that i was teaching my children to capture the miracles of God that we take for granted every day.

sunrises.

sunsets.

butterflies.

bears.

rainbows.

river rapids making waterfalls.

each others company.

i know they will tell you today that that day was torture on them.  LOL.  but i also know that that day will be remembered with great joy.  maybe not in my lifetime, but,

it will.

i know it.

His angels keep watch

I got one of those dreaded calls moms get. The one with a huge sob on the other end and only 'Mom' would come out. The one that makes your heart stop, or at least jump into your throat. The one where you panic inside and try to keep calm and find out what happened. Yea. One of those. it was gretchen.

she was on her way to work.

she tried to tell me what had happened, but i couldn't make heads or tails out of it.  all i got was that the window was busted and she was ok.  i wanted to go get her, but she reassured me she was ok and she was headed to work.

later that night, she explained what had happened.  sounded like a near miss to me.  like a miracle.  like god was truly watching out for her. when i asked her about it, she felt like the near miss was a punishment of some sort.  i HATE that.  we talked about it and she came around to the fact that truly he was watching over her and protected her.

i felt compelled to go by the 'scene' to see what i could see.

i was shocked.

i could do nothing but pray and praise jesus for keeping my little girl safe.

the pictures will show how close she came to, probably, losing her life.  while i was there, the intersection was empty.  i prayed and asked god to put a car in the position gretchen was in at the time.  that is this:

an 18-wheeler came upon a red light and was, ahem, distracted, it seems.  there were cars lined up at the red light, so he swerved to miss them and went into the grass, hitting, knocking over and bending signs. the light was green (for what would have been this white truck) for gretchen.  she said she did not know what made her NOT move, but she didn't.  she looked over and saw this truck coming at her and said she literally thought she was gonna die.

the truck came, it looks like to me about 2-3 inches from hitting her straight on.

he never stopped.  he just hit the highway and kept on going.

i am amazed and oh. so. thankful i have my 17 year old precious daughter still here.  and i am so glad she is beginning to see how much he loves her to protect her like he did.  and!  i am so glad he is not done with her yet and she is beginning to see she has a purpose to be here.

passing the baton

i really wanted a picture of harrison passing the baton to one of his teammates for this.....for obvious reasons (ahem, the title)...and didn't have one that was clear enough to use......so, i decided this picture would work...what it says to me is....that at the end of the day...as in THE END OF MY DAYS, what will i have passed on to my children? i have been contemplating this for a while.  a long time, actually.  i even thought about writing about it before--i have a draft of a post from 2 years ago.

last night it became clear...well more clear.  more like a little more mud removed from the screen.

i have LONG beaten myself up for the fact that i have, in many ways, repeated and passed on unhealthy and even abusive ways of relating to my children/husband/family/friends.  i can see so many ways i have failed to take a stand for what is right along the years.

i see so many other 'healthy' families and want that so badly for me and mine.  i see families that have (what seems to me) to have a deep connectedness, all willing and working on healthy conflict resolution, doing life together......i see families that have grandparents completely involved in their grandchildren's lives.  i see divorced families working things out peaceably.

i want so much more for my children.

don't we all?????

i heard a story last night from a dad...a man who's dad came from horrible abuse.  a dad who (from my view) was JUST surviving his childhood.  this younger man told of the horror stories his dad told him about how he grew up.  the anger, the rage, the abuse.  The speaker told of how he had learned to not look at what his dad DIDN'T do for him and look at what his dad DIDN'T pass on to him.  He learned to not focus on the times he felt he missed with his dad, because his dad just didn't know how to do those kinds of things....what he chose to focus on was how his dad STOPPED the horrid from being passed on and down the line.

this story gave me SUCH HOPE.  i have had such a longing to know i am doing better for my children than i had done for me.  and with that story last night, i saw that i have done that--that i am doing that.

i may not be taking my children as far as i wanted to...and yes, there is still time.  but to know that they will take the baton and go further with their family than i did....and their children will go even further...away from the devastation, the neglect and abuse  i grew up in and live a freer life from the beginning.

cole slaw....the easy way ;)

better late than never?  i hope so....its now great b-b-que time.  so i am finally sitting down to write out the cole slaw recipe.  cheese potatoes coming next! to read about the origins of this recipe, read here .

cole slaw

• 1 cup Hellmann's Real Mayonaise (i've never gotten brave enough to try another brand)
• 3 T. lemon juice (bottled works just fine, but fresh does take it a notch
• 2 T. sugar (can use honey)
• 1 t. salt
• 2 t. horseradish (the one of the secret ingredients)
• 3/4 t celery seed
• 6 cups shredded cabbage
• 1 cup shredded carrots
• 1/2 cup chopped find green pepper

whisk 1st 6 ingredients together.  combine vegetables and add sauce mix.  Stir well.

that's it.  so easy and so good.

now....i do take a short cut in that i purchase ready made shredded cabbage mix.  it does have carrots in it, although not 1 cup.  so, i just decide in the moment if i can make that happen or not.  the bell pepper is a non-negotiable.  it is the other secret ingredient.  i usually just put it through the food processor.

When pictures don't work

Having just spent 24 hours in Moore, Oklahoma serving food and just helping where needed in the moment, I'm a bit overwhelmed at the devastation and destruction this town (and several surrounding towns) were hit with last week. Being a photographer, I really wanted to come back with some great pictures to communicate what I saw. I couldn't.

Oh, I took some pictures.

I hope I took pictures that mean something. But not lots of pictures of what it looks like there.

I just couldn't.

I woke up several times in the night last night and asked why. I feel like God spoke and told me why.

Now-when I say He spoke, I mean impressions or mental images come to me that speak a message to what I just asked.

What He showed me was some images of watching the news. Of seeing images on the Internet, of watching tv shows.

I asked about this.

What came to me is the fact that with television and the Internet, we see so much. We have seen destruction in movies and with special effects and photoshop, images can be made to look so much more graphic than real life.

No amount of pictures could communicate the horrific experience these communities are walking through. Nothing can capture the smell of rotting food mixed with gas leaks mixed with sewage leaks. No amount of photoshop can show the emotion (or shock) these people are walking through life with, in this moment, just to keep walking. No image can capture the block after block, street after street, mile after mile of nothingness that was once thriving neighborhoods.  NO picture can shout the sound of silence that screams, and the echo that a single car can make.

and i do have pictures.  the pictures i chose to take are the ones that speak of the chosen condition of humanity when hard things happen.  pictures that tell of humor, hope and hard work that goes into making the best of a rotten situation.  I truly don't want anyone feeling like I am gawking.  Or taking advantage of them.  while there are stories of great tragedy, there are stories that tell of the goodness of God in the miracles that happened.

the humor and practicality in these next 2 pictures was great.  things like this were all over!

I loved this!at first, I thought this tent was someone who didn't have a house.  it actually was someone who came down from Chicago to serve.  He came with his dog and was staying as long as he is needed.....now that's heart!OU pride was EVERYWHERE!  Our American flags were flying all over, too!

some pictures were given to me by a coworker who took pictures while I drove ;)  Thanks, Angie!

Doubletree hotel cookies (or as the kids call them: One Tree Hill cookies)

when our family goes on vacation, it is an ordeal fun way to spend great time preparing and planning and enjoying our time and each other. over the years, due to family size, money constrains and now just plain tradition, we have several things we do each and every time.

with exception of taking the family on a cruise last year for christmas, we typically go to the beach.

now that we have chuck in our lives (have you read before that he hates--i mean HATES sand?) we go to the mountains when we can as well.

this year will be both!

i used to cook ahead as much as i could to save on work at the beach. one year--don't remember why, i just couldn't.

the place we stayed had a grill and we planned our meals around that.

it was divine...and a divine inspiration, i might say

every meal was cooked on it....outside, on the sand, overlooking the beach, which typically coincided with sunset time.

i never knew what i was missing...boy, now i know. and i won't be missing a sunset due to being in the kitchen again.....if i have anything to say about it.

one of our traditions became these cookies. i wanted something that we could fix there, eat fresh and not spend a lot of time making.

so.

i made the dough for these cookies, froze the balls, put them in a ziplock and voila. fresh, hot out of the oven cookies each night for dessert (ok..except for the nights we had key lime pie, and homemade ice-cream and roasted marshmallows.).....

um...i think we may have had all of the above on our last night of cleaning the frig out.

these cookies are so so good. my friend, alicia, is a great baker. she found this recipe on top-secret recipes website. these are the cookies that the Doubletree Hotel used to leave in your room at the bed turn down. not sure if they still do, but it doesn't matter to me now ;)

Doubletree Hotel Chocolate Chip Cookies

• 1/2 cup rolled oats
• 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
• 3/4 cup brown sugar, packed
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
• 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
• 2 eggs
• 3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
• 1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 2. Grind oats in a food processor or blender until fine. Combine the ground oats with the flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon in a medium bowl. 3. Cream together the butter, sugars, vanilla, and lemon juice in another medium bowl with an electric mixer. Add the eggs and mix until smooth. 4. Stir the dry mixture into the wet mixture and blend well. Add the chocolate chips and nuts to the dough and mix by hand until ingredients are well incorporated. 5. Spoon rounded 1/4-cup portions onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Place the scoops about 2 inches apart. You don't need to press the dough flat. Bake for 16 to 18 minutes or until cookies are light brown and soft in the middle. Store in a sealed container when cool to keep soft. For the best results, chill the dough overnight in the refrigerator before baking the cookies.

hot fudge sauce

i came upon this recipe so innocently. honest.

i was trying my best to cook more healthy. and found this amazing set of books. i think i have mentioned them before....the Sue Gregg Eating Better Cookbooks.

well...there are some healthy ones in there and then there's this little gem

this is ALWAYS requested for birthdays that include ice cream (we have several who don't like cake--go figure)

and....it calls for fructose. i buy fructose and keep it on hand for this recipe....and this one alone.

i have tried making it with sugar and it just doesn't work.

try it

you'll see. it is so good. it gets real thick and gooey once its on ice cream.

it's love at first bite.

hot fudge sauce

• 1/2 stick butter
• 1 or 2 - 1 oz squares unsweetened chocolate (to taste)
• 1/3 c. crystalline fructose
• 1/2 c. evaporated milk
• 1/2 tsp. vanilla

In saucepan melt butter and chocolate over very low heat. Whisk in fructose and milk. Bring to a boil, whisking constantly until thickened, about 3 minutes. Remove from heat and whisk in vanilla

YUMMO!

it's a little crunchy around here.....

not sure what it is

being without work/stable income for almost a year?

realizing how much junk we put in and on our bodies?

reading '7, a mutiny against excess', by Jen Hatmaker?

not sure what it is, but i am more and more interested in making my own...whatever can be made at home...ok, not veggies. i have a purple thumb. but if i can make it from something that is ALREADY made, i am trying it.

here is a laundry soap i have made for a while now and really like it. it ends up costing .40 a gallon!!!! you just can't beat that! i always pick the most natural, cheap brand i can and i end up paying more than 15.00 for maybe a gallon.

laundry soap

it only takes 3 ingredients--4 if you want an essential oil for scent

• a soap of some sort,
• washing soda
• borax

the soap: i have used fels naptha. it is found in the laundry aisle. the other options for soap are ivory or another brand called, zote. any of these will work. if you use ivory or zote, you will need to use the whole bar. washing soda is sodium carbonate or soda ash (baking soda is sodium bicarbonate). it is a white powder. its purpose is to help remove dirt and orders. the brand to look for is arm & hammer washing soda. i find it in the laundry section of my grocery store. many people have a hard time finding this locally.

borax: borax is a naturally occurring mineral: sodium borate. It’s purpose is as a laundry whitener and deodorizer. The brand to look for is 20 Mule Team.

i have found all items at my local wal-mart

NOW: to make it :) 1/3 bar fels naptha, or soap of choice ½ cup washing soda ½ cup borax powder ~You will also need a small bucket, about 2 gallon size~(this makes it easier to mix, but I have used 2-1 gallon pitchers)

grate the soap and put it in a sauce pan. add 6 cups water and heat it until the soap melts. add the washing soda and the borax and stir until it is dissolved. remove from heat. pour 4 cups hot water into the bucket. next, add your soap mixture and stir. now add 1 gallon plus 6 cups of water and stir. let the soap sit for about 24 hours and it will gel. use ½ cup per load.

~the finished soap will not be a solid gel. it will be more of a watery/jelly type mixture~the soap is a low sudsing soap. so if you don’t see suds, that is ok. suds are not what does the cleaning, it is the ingredients in the soap.

if you DO want your soap to have some sort of scent you can scent this with ½ to 1 oz. of essential oil or fragrance oil of your choice. my favorite scent is called 'creative blend' that i get at sprouts

what this boy is teaching me

we spent more than i care to admit several hours at a district track meet last night.  harrison, the youngest son, is excelling beyond my imagination in several events.  to watch him brings me such joy. last night, he was one of a handful of boys who made the cut from their school to compete at the district level.  we all had great hopes of walking away with records and 1st place spots in most, if not all the events.

it didn't really happen like that.  oh, he did well.

very well.

made this mama so proud.

but there was the one young man from another school that stayed just ahead of him, in. every. event.

we got home and i asked him about this boy that was just ahead of him in all 3 of his individual events.  he shrugged.  i asked if it bothered him that he lost to the same guy all 3 times.  his response has been in my mind and on my heart since...he said ' well, i need someone who will push me.  its not fun without the competition.'

spoken like a man.  and a competitor.  and a realist.

we all need someone who will push us just a bit further.  without comparison.  i am still not sure how the balance of that happens, but i am learning i need those in my life who will push me.  press me for more depth than i think i have.  stretch me into thoughts and actions that are a bit 'out there' for me in the moment.

i love this man {child}.  i love watching him grow and i love how he challenges me and pushes me just by him being himself.

biscuits

can one ever have too many biscuit recipes? i think not. and. while i purposing to eat raw and no grains, i find i can enjoy these a little here and there. I found this recipe on Pinterest and it has started making frequent appearances on the table. the kids say they still like our old recipe better than this, but this is a welcome change for something different. they are very easy and pretty foolproof.

3 c. flour-I'm going to try a GF mix next time 1 1/2 t. salt 1 T. sugar 1 1/2 t. baking powder 1 stick butter 3/4 c. buttermilk--if you don't have buttermilk, you can make your own! 3/4 cup milk and 2 tsp lemon juice or, my standby, apple cider vinegar. Works like a charm. 1 egg 1/4 c. water

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Combine flour, salt, sugar, baking powder and butter until crumbly. Mix in buttermilk, egg and just enough water to make a workable dough. Mix the dough until it is just barely combined (don't over mix). Roll the dough onto a floured cutting board about 1 inch thick. Cut with a 2 inch biscuit cutter, or a 2 inch round cup. Place on a greased baking sheet (touching each other) and bake 12-15 minutes or until golden brown. Makes about 12-15 biscuits, depending how thick you make them.

Best Texas BBQ--the easy way

this has become one of my most favorite recipes to prepare for either a large crowd, which lets face it...is when the family is together.  or, when i need to cater a dinner.  so SO easy and it tastes like it came straight from the nearest BBQ restaurant. i got the brisket recipe from my friend sharon, who made it when i had, i think, baby #7.  she brought over this slab of beef and i marveled at how she could afford that much meat from Dickies ;)  she later told me she made it from a brisket.  wow.  i was so impressed.

she served with it, these yummo cheese potatoes, too.

the cole slaw.  well.  i have told you before about mr. stu.  the infamous cook husband of one of my dearest friends.  he creates recipes....i change them, lol.  he had this cole slaw one day while we were visiting and it had such a different spin on it.  i couldn't quite figure out what it was, but once i saw the recipe, i know.  it has bell pepper in it and horseradish.  those 2 things alone would make anything take on a completely different taste.

this meal has now become a much requested birthday meal, also.  this particular dinner, mac and cheese was requested (or maybe not and it was the closest thing i could come up with in the time frame we had) and normally, i would do homemade pintos.  i am assuming i WAS short on time, since these are canned bush beans.

Brisket Recipe

Go get ya a brisket.  Now, I have heard they don't have those everywhere, so i'm not sure what to use if you can't get one.  TIP:  I got this tip from a butcher.  if you get a full, untrimmed brisket, get one you can fold as much in half as you can.  the tighter you can fold it up, the less fat and more meat it has.  you are paying by the pound, so you want the most meat.  i always get the untrimmed ones (unless there is a huge sale) because they tend to be more tender and moist once cooked.

Put brisket in a large pan. Brew 2 pots of coffee and pour over the brisket. Cover and cook for 23 hours at 200 degrees. Take out and tear brisket apart and scrape off fat. Put in a 9X13 dish. Pour sauce on top and bake uncovered for 1 hour.

• 16 oz. Ketchup
• 3 dashes Tobasco sauce
• 1 (10 oz) can Coke
• 1 tsp pepper
• 2 Tbsp liquid smoke
• 2 Tbsp yellow mustard
• 2 Tbsp Worst. Sauce
• 3 Tbsp brown sugar

Mix sauce as desired, i.e. add more sugar for a sweeter sauce, etc.  I usually make a double batch of this to make sure we have saucy meat and to also keep on hand for bbq chicken on the grill....just freeze your leftovers from this meal. Yummy!!!

cole slaw and potato recipe.......to be continuted.

i CAN see the forest......

on days, weeks, months like this, it is hard to see the big picture.  we have had the flu at our house {for weeks, now} and it seems like this is the way it has always been.  someone coughing or snorting their way to breathing.  and its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  after months of unemployment, it is hard to see that anything will change. and.

i have to remember that there have been days and weeks like this before.  not necessarily with unemployment, but with sickness.  heavens.  there was a season when several of the children had chicken pox....one right after the other.  it was hard to see a day coming when we could just all go out and play.

that season is {thankfully} over.

and it is in remembering those {very difficult}  seasons that i remember the faithfulness of god is never ceasing.  his mercies never come to an end.  they are new every morning.  the new morning may not be 24 hours later, but the new morning is coming.

this is one of the hardest things for me to stay on top of.  that what i am seeing right now in front of my face is not what it's all about.

there is a much bigger picture and it is not the tree {job situation, illness, relationship} in front of me.  it is an eternal work that he is doing in me and those around me. that there is a forest beyond the tree.