continued...... we got to town early and decided to run by the house. as we drove down the street, i was in shock. this house was not the house i remembered. it looked a tad bit familiar, but not at all like the house i lived in.
i asked chuck to slow down so i could take it all in. then i asked if we could pull up into the driveway and just let me look. he said yes. we pulled up and a man walked from the barn to the house. he stopped and looked at us...hehe....you know that feeling when someone drives up to your house and you're like 'who is THAT and what do they want?'....well he had that look.
i introduced myself by my maiden name. his eyebrows rose up. i said 'i used to live here'...he said 'i know you did'....i told him about my friend messaging me and then he asked if i would like to go in and see the house.
of course i said YES!
we walk in, and of course i recognize the house, but it is different. it has been taken care of. Rick, the owner of the house, tells me of what he has done. as we walk through, i am able to recount the way things were, and what was here and what went there, etc.....he agreed with me and corrected me when i got mixed up...but that only happened once, maybe? i remembered with clarity the way the house WAS....
but this was a different house. it has the same shell....rick told me they gutted the thing. kept what they wanted and needed to, but for the most part, it was a brand. new. house.
rick did tell me that when they first walked through it, he noticed some things that looked wrong...he said he looked at his wife and said 'child abuse has happened in this house'...well, that shook me to the core as you can imagine....and I told him-yes. It did.
i walked room to room like i did 19 years ago. some parts held a bit of a grasp on me, but it was like walking in a completely different place.
rick also told me of how they took the house off the foundation it was on and moved it 6 feet to prepare a solid foundation to replace the old one.....wow....6 feet and then back.
the love this family has for this house. the care they took in re-doing it. the detail they paid attention to. it was incredible.
so. so beautiful was this house.
we chatted, and then before things became awkward ;) we left.
they did tell us they had lived in the barn while building and are planning on opening a bed and breakfast in the barn after the 1st of the year.
we got in the car, drove off and i asked chuck if he would drive around the block and let me look at it one more time. and again, he said yes.....as we drove up, i started shooting pictures....this is one of the pictures i got....
on to the game we go.
i am still in shock over what i have seen and can not completely comprehend it. i am silent as i absorb it all. but on to the game we go :)
a friend from high school got us some tickets and we were finding our seats when another friend came up. she asked how our day had been and i begin by showing her this picture.
she said, 'that's the house that's in the football program'....i was puzzled and she insisted it was. she said, 'isn't it so beautiful??'...my response was, 'yes, it is, but you should see the inside!...it is SO incredible.'
god spoke. he said, 'that's what i say about you'.
i just wept.
its been such a hard road. and *I* know what i have been through and what *I* have done. i know the ugly, the hard, the abuse, the old junk. but he took me.... he took me off the foundation i had grown up on. the shaky foundation. and he moved me onto a firm foundation. he basically gutted me, LOL....and restored the inside of me...kept what he wanted to for future use and created something so much better.
i could go on and on about the similarities, comparisons and pictures he gave me that night and he is still doing.
maybe i will continue to share as it develops.
the last thing: he told me: just as anyone driving by now would not know what happened in that house, people who know you now don't know who you used to be. you keep trying to be the old house, when i made you brand new. let the old die. begin living in the new house i built for you.
i do know that i am hoping to be one of the 1st to stay in the bed and breakfast. i have asked them for that :)
i know there is deeper healing for me as i go and stay....and let god love on me and heal some of those old wounds.
if you'd like to see more of the house, visit this blog. leave a comment, if you wish. i know the new owners would love to hear what others are seeing and saying!! its http://horse-apple-hill.blogspot.com
i wish i could say i have a really good reason for not blogging lately--or on a more regular basis. and i am hoping to get some accountability in my writing, but until then...you get what you get and you don't throw a fit. hehe...i have been wanting to say that all week.
we have been busy....my sweet hubby and i have both served at several ministry opportunities...some of them have been 3 and 4 days long....we have had 4 birthdays, school starting, schedules changing, kids leaving home which means rearranging rooms..then there are the clothes to get switched out....oh, and we had a small fire in the middle of the night a couple of weeks ago....after a hail storm and water leak had already had our home under construction to a degree.....
I shared this with a special group of women this morning and know god told me to post it here, also.
i have been wrestling lately with seeing the big picture. i was talking to my kids about this and the word perspective came up ;) i was explaining to them how when i am in the middle of a challenge that all i can see in front of me is the challenge...or the rejection or correction or mistake or, or, or....
that in these times i have to remember the trees. trees for me take on many different personas and meanings, so i will explain this one....
Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox. proverbs 14:4
sassy picture, huh? sassy post title, huh? well, part of it came from my kids...who are loving having a mom who is free :)
this picture of these hands will always bring tears to my eyes. these hands taught me so much. i learned to watch these hands work in the kitchen making jellies and jams and buttermilk biscuits and cornbread dressing. i saw these hands hold my newborn babies with the same loving care that i would--the kind that a nurturing woman would show to anything and anyone precious to God. i saw these hands turn so many pages on the same story books over and over and over through the years. i have seen these hands lose their ability to cook and to hold and to do the basic things in life. these hands held my children as they were growing from babies to children and then hold their hands. these same hands held my children's daddy when he was fresh from God and then his hand as he grew into adulthood. I love these hands. they speak of what should have been....to grow old together....instead, sin and selfishness and old age and circumstances have kept us apart. these hands will always hold my heart as i hold hers.....
