the ruts

in junior high and highschool, i lived in a house that was on a dirt road.  it looked pretty much like this.  one time...i was babysitting when a huge thunderstorm came through.  it rained and rained....and the parents were out pretty late.  when it came time for the husband to drive me home, he went the 'short-cut'....which was the dirt road.  we got about 5 feet off the main road and we got stuck.  he tried and tried to get us out of the mud....and his back and forth efforts just got us in deeper and deeper.

we had no other option than to get out and walk.  through the mud. through the rain. through the thunder and lightening.  i took off my shoes and trudged through the mud....about a mile down the road to home. up to my knees in mud.  as you can tell...that was a night to remember...or not ;)

but.  as i am walking through some things...god brought this memory back to me.....

my thoughts, you see...are like these ruts in a road...only they are in my brain....

seems my negativity (or positive thoughts for that matter) make little paths in my brain....and the more i have those thoughts the deeper those ruts get...

so.

my project of late....as in the past few years....has been to work on those negative comments and thoughts and turn them into positive, truth bearing comments and thoughts.

and.

it is hard.

that is where this picture came to mind.  you know how hard it is to drive on a road with deep ruts in it?  and how you have to concentrate to keep the car from falling into the ruts?  you know that you really want to drive on the higher, smoother part of the road, but if you don't watch it, you fall right back into the ruts....that is where i am living right now....i am having to purpose to stay so focused on my thoughts...and the things i speak--over me and my family...over anyone for that matter.....it is a hard task...but one i know will produce great fruit......

I am purposing to make new {ruts} in my brain....to speak truth to myself and to my children and husband and friends....to focus on: whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Phillippians 4:8)

some great reading resources for this are:  Who shut off my brain, by Dr. Caroline Leaf and Scripture meditations by Harrison House publishers....both of these things have helped me understand what is going on in me when I have negative vs positive thoughts and how to work this into my life in a practical way.

what helps you????

the gettin is good!!

found the recipe for these little gems on pinterest.  (i would think as much as i write the word 'PINTEREST' it would not auto-correct. am i the only one????) we made these little bits of yum over the holidays....and we LOVE them....2 ingredients to make them and 1 being CANDY CORN :)...yep...candy corn.  not sure how anyone figured that one out, but i am grateful....

so.

we bought candy corn to try them and the bags were 1.99 each.  a little steep for our new addiction.

so.

we went back after thanksgiving thinking they would be clearances...nope.

and we bought them anyway.  isn't that the way addictions work?

we made them and ate them during Christmas.

fast forward a couple of weeks.

yesterday, i had a sick child.  had to run to walgreens for meds.  there in the clearance isle....i saw them....bags of candy corn.  for .19!!!!!!  so.  we got a couple of bags and i suggest you go quickly and get some and try this sweet (no pun) little recipe.  if you like butterfinger candy bars...you will LOVE this!!!

homemade butterfinger candy

• 1 lb candy corn
• 16oz jar peanut butter--you can use the cheapest, but the 'natural' gives more of the texture we all love so well!
• Chocolate candy for coating--i used melted chocolate chips.  if you want to cover them like the real thing, i would use milk chocolate and candy coating will work better for you...i just drizzled chocolate on top.

Melt candy corn in microwave on high 1 minute. Stir and continue cooking in 20 second intervals until melted, stirring after each interval. Stir in peanut butter. Spread mixture in an 8x8 pan lined with parchment or wax paper. Cool completely.  cut or Break into squares/bars. Drizzle melted chocolate over the bars. Lay on waxed paper until cool.  Store in refrigerator.  Enjoy!

you better go get those bags of candy corn now.....or you will have to wait til next Thanksgiving to try these......or come to my house ;)

who is your bff?????

today is my birthday.  it is a hard season to have a birthday, as everyone is partied out ;)  i have {reluctantly} learned to accept this fact....and move on.  this year is no different....except--christmas was a bit hard.  for several reasons.  and i have been working on my attitude....with little success....and my sweet husband has been stuck with me.....like that. he started spinning....trying to make my life better.  poor thing.  when will we ALL learn that someone's happiness doesn't depend on us???  it was my own doing and my own getting myself out of this funk.  but.  in the meantime.  he was trying to make me feel better.  he was asking if i wanted a party for my birthday and who would i like to spend it with.....

of course, i was very noncommittal....feeling pretty poorly about life in general...and me....in general :)....he asked again...who would you like to spend your birthday with???  what friends would you like to get together with?  who ARE your friends?  Do you even have a BFF?

WOAH...this stopped me in my tracks of feeling glum....a BFF????  NO...I don't have a bff.....hmmmm....

i had been thinking on this a bit lately anyway, so it kinda hit a bruised spot.....i see posts of Facebook about bff's and hear others talking about doing things with theirs, etc....but i don't think i have ever had one....well....in high school.....maybe....i considered her mine, just not sure it was mutual....

but.  do i have friends?  YES!!!!  LOTS of friends....and if you know me well at all, you know i am pretty slippery where all that is concerned....can't see the root of that--and i am working on that.....but i have friends....

this morning... i wake up to many notifications on Facebook.....friends.  friends who i know i could call on to help in a pinch.  friends who encourage.  friends who hug.  friends who love me unconditionally.  friends who minister to me in ways they probably don't even know.  friends that i can go to level 10 with in half a second.  friends i know will call me on the carpet--in most loving ways....friends i call because they who know my history, my personality, struggles and dreams....i have friends who i call specifically for different things...whether it be health issues, children issues, marriage issues, attitude issues, home decorating issues--goodness....even hair issues :) .... i hope it is mutual, but the thing that spoke to me during all this reflection is that

i don't have a bff.

i don't know that i am supposed to.

i think if i did, it would take away from my need for jesus.  for my time with my family.  from my heart toward my husband.

i have decided i am to have many friends...not just one.  many who meet the many different needs to the many different facets of life......

i think every {girl} wants that one special person {another girl} to share life with...someone we don't have to catch up to speed....to just pick up where we left off.  i am so blessed that i have several of those....i truly hope i am considered one of these kind of friends for them, too.

consider the source

i have, historically,  had a hard time keeping my eyes on what is truth.  when there is a conflict within me, with someone i love or someone i might not even know, it is very hard to see who my enemy is.  my enemy is NOT my husband who just said something to hurt me.  my enemy is NOT my child{ren} who choose a different path than the one i like...whether in the moment or life direction.  my enemy is NOT the man who abused me, or the one who abused my children.  my enemy is NOT my ex husband.  my enemy is NOT the friend who betrayed my trust.  my enemy is NOT the person who spoke harshly about something i did or said..... i have been camping on a saying my former pastor used to say all the time--'if you pinch it and it squeals, it's not your enemy'. what that means is.....we have an enemy.  he is out to steal, kill and destroy....us and anything that involves us and our walk with god.  but.  we can't see that enemy.  and that enemy is very wily....he will use what he knows will poke us and pester us...and try to steal our joy.  he uses us, other people and circumstances to do just that.  and it we aren't careful...very careful......

we fall for it.

we will look at the person who just spoke something, or did something or the grocery cart that has the wacky wheel ;) as our enemy.  we start building walls to protect ourselves....and hold those other people responsible for the pain in us.....

when it is really a little, bitty nothing little man who thinks he is much bigger than he is.

so when someone does say something (because you know they will)...or someone does something that is so hurtful.....don't think of them as your enemy....realize who it is that is the source of the lies.....the hurt.....and put him in his place.

consider the source....

twenty three.

i can not think of this day or this boy  man without seeing the mercy of god. i love this guy so much, sometimes it makes my heart hurt.  i am so incredibly proud of him and all that he has walked through. Jordan is probably the most like me of all my children.  he has such a love for life and truth and god.  he has always wanted more and more of whatever god had for him.  i remember one time, after sunday school.  i think he was about 5 or 6.  his teachers looked for us after church to tell us how jordan blew the rest of the class away with his knowledge of the bible and the depth in which he 'got' it.  it surely didn't come from us.  we drilled them all, yes, but for the revelation he had at such a young age....only god.

jordan has walked through many years of having an angry mom....and lots of that anger was directed at him...because this mama didn't like herself very much, she was determined to not have any children like her....how sad. for him and for me.  it breaks my heart that for years, i didn't allow him to be what and who god created him to be.  years of beating submission into him...literally and figuratively

but god

god knew what it would take for me AND for jordan to turn to him with our whole hearts.....it has been a bumpy road....a hard one.  and we have come out on the other side.  and we are great friends.  i love that.

i love that jordan and i can talk for HOURS about scripture or a movie or a book...to get to the bottom of its true message.  we debate most of the time :)  but we both love a good debate.....

jordan has had several prophetic words spoken over him through the years....one was that he wouldn't walk with god...he would run.  i so see that in him...the other one is that he is a pied piper.....and boy.  does that describe him.  he never meets a stranger and is ready to jump into whatever game any group, anywhere may be playing at any time....and he is determined to win...and usually does.  and he draws others to him with his smile and sense of humor.

this year, he graduated from college.  he was the only child of ours that was home schooled all the way through high school and he has done an incredible job of working his way through college and holding down a job leading the youth in church and as a worship team player.

today, i think back on that itsy bitsy baby handed to me....a son...the oldest boy........who knew...that this man would {by the age of 23} have served on the mission field, would be a great writer, could play a musical instrument....who has journeyed so far....physically and spiritually....?

who knew that this young man that i call jordy boy would grow up to be such an amazing man of god....running after god, to have a hold of all god has for him?

god did.

i am so thankful for this man....that god allowed me to have him and through my mistakes has redeemed what i and the enemy tried to steal.

Happy Birthday, Jordan!   we love you!!!!

Christmas breakfast

our christmas days are  a long, drawn out, amazingly fun process.  it has evolved into a whole day of eating and opening presents.  i guess that's no different from any other family, but one difference for us, is we don't open everything in one fell swoop.  now that the children are a bit older--and that's relatively speaking....every present is wrapped and nothing is placed under the tree until christmas eve....so some of the surprise is all the presents appearing out of no where :)  we have stockings to open and presents to unwrap.  we wait until everyone is {somewhat} awake and we have cups of coffee, cider and hot chocolate ready for the stocking opening.  once everyone has their warm drink of choice, we all gather in the den and stockings are handed out.  we go around, one by one and reach in--without looking is the ideal--and pull out one thing at a time.  this can take up to an hour or two for the whole family to empty their stockings. once that is done, we stop and have breakfast.  i have found that breakfast needs to be on the lighter side or no one wants to eat Christmas dinner (actually lunch, since its around 2).  i am also learning how to keep it very simple, since i would have already been cooking the few days prior and will be the rest of the day.  we have had cinnamon rolls (recipe here), breakfast casseroles, scrambled eggs and muffins, etc.    our favorite so far has become fruit soup and biscuits.  i know my sweet husband needs some protein with breakfast, so this year, i will make some mini quiches to go along with our soup. after breakfast, we go back to the tree and open presents.  we are usually there until time for lunch.

this soup is wonderful!  it is so refreshing and light.  and. so. simple. what i love about it, is that i throw it all together the day before--whenever there is time--and its just ready for us when its time to eat.  the other thing i do (which i did tonight) is make enough biscuits for that meal and freeze the dough on a cookie sheet--several days or weeks ahead.  once they are frozen, i put them in a ziplock and when we are about ready to break for breakfast, i throw them on a cookies sheet and pop them in the oven.

i will make the mini quiches the day or two before christmas also.  my goal is to make this as easy as possible for that day.  i want to be in the den, enjoying my family and not in the kitchen...until they have all crashed on the sofas :)

i found this soup recipe years and years ago in a cookbook series on healthy eating.  i wouldn't say its exactly healthy, but it is a favorite and with a few wise choices, it can be healthier than most foods :) we have this for dinner many times during the summer, too.

Fruit Soup

recipe as written makes 11 cups without bananas (which we never add)

• 12 oz package frozen raspberries
• 16 oz package frozen strawberries
• 12 oz package frozen blueberries
• 20 oz can pineapple chunks, unsweetened, undrained
• 16 oz can peach slices, unsweetened, undrained and cut in bite size pieces
• 16 oz can pear halves, unsweetened, undrained and cut in bit size pieces

Combine all portions of fruit in a BIG bowl.  let stand about 2 hours at room temperature or overnight in refrigerator to let frozen fruit thaw and juices to mingle.  refrigerate until ready to serve.  Add bananas (if desired) to each portion served.

*this will keep several days in the refrigerator.  Add bananas only to the portion to be used immediately, since they will turn.

we serve with whipped cream on top and biscuits.  we almost always have left overs and use this as a base for smoothie or a topping on ice-cream, oatmeal..whatever.  you name it, it works here :)

NOW--i usually make these biscuits to go with this. but lately, the kids have been asking for buttermilk biscuits with this, since the usual ones are a bit sweet.

i learned to make these biscuits from my mother-in-law.  she, like me, doesn't use recipes for most of her meals, and this is no exception.  i am sure she was taught just like she taught me to make them...and, while they are NOT good for you, they are pretty darn good.  there are no measurements...you just have to 'eyeball' it and go on experience--as you get used to making them

buttermilk biscuits

• self rising flour
• crisco
• buttermilk

What she taught me:  put a couple of cups of flour in a bowl.  take a couple of heaping spoons of crisco and cut (and by cut she meant mush it with your hands until it was all blended) in until the constancy of cornmeal.  (what I do is blend it all in and if I can form a ball with the flour/crisco mix with my hands, without feeling the greasiness of the crisco, you got the right mix :)).  add buttermilk, a little at a time until you have a moist heap (hehe, i told you it wasn't precise)....and it will be gooey, but those make for flaky biscuits.  put dough out on a floured board and put just enough flour on top to be able to flatten with your fingers and it not stick to you.  flatten out to about 1/2" and cut with a biscuit cutter--I use a regular sized mouth mason jar.   lay out on an ungreased cookie sheet--sides barely touching.  bake at 450 for about 5 minutes.  they will be light brown on top and maybe very light on the bottom.

gingerbread men

this is one of my all time favorite cookie recipes and it has great story to go with it! ok, i think so, anyway. i love collecting recipes...obviously.  and i found myself with mountains of magazines to keep all the recipes i loved.  one year, i decided to purge the magazines by pulling out the recipes i loved and had saved the magazine for.  i got one of those 'magnetic' photo albums and put all my scraps of papers in the album. i still have this album and it has to be 20 years old.

but.  somehow, this recipe got lost.  i had written it down several times.  it was in a good housekeeping magazine from 1983.  i remembered the front of the magazine, and had saved it for many years, but it was gone.  i had even given it to friends and no one could find it.

what i love about this recipe, is that the cookies are soft....if you roll them thinner, they would be crunchy, but the flavor is mild....i think it has to do with the maple syrup in it...and i use the real thing.  they are easy to handle and roll out and transfer to a cookie sheet....just all around good cookie dough to work with.

well.  every Christmas, i think of these cookies and have not, for the life of me, been able to replicate the recipe.

i have been looking for probably 10 years now.  and decided to go online to find it.  i didn't know this, but there is a magazine clearing house....so, i went on that and ordered the magazine...for a mere 19.95.  it came in and i got the year wrong.....it wasn't the right one. BOOOOOOO.  NOW what what i going to do?????  well, I called the company and explained what I did....hehe....the guy felt sorry for me and copied and emailed me the copy of the recipe from the correct years' magazine.

so...now i have it and i knew if I didn't make these and get the recipe on my blog, i might lose it again!!!  here it is :)

gingerbread cookies

• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
• 1/2 cup pure maple syrup
• 1 large egg
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp ginger
• 1 tsp cloves
• 1 tsp allspice
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 1/2 c flour

mix butter, sugar, syrup and egg until smooth.  mix dry ingredients together and add to butter mixture.  mix well. put on floured board and roll out to desired thickness.  add currants for eyes and buttons, or leave plain and decorate after cooled.   bake at 350 for 5-8 minutes.

iii forks corn

once we had been to iii forks, we were on the hunt for their recipes...or at least trying to copy them.  a friend had overheard us talking about how much we loved it....and how we had broken the salad recipe, which you can find here and she gave us a copy of the creamed corn they serve.  wow.  jackpot!  we decided to make it for a holiday meal, and it has been a regular ever since.  i rarely make it outside of the holidays, but my kids--the ones out on their own--will call me to get the recipe every now and then.  it is so good!  it does taste better with fresh, off the cob corn, but during the holidays, fresh corn is hard to come by and pricey...so we use frozen.  I do try to find the best brand of frozen, which is usually birds eye or green giant.  this is one recipe i don't go for store brands.

III Forks Corn

• 10 ears fresh corn (we use frozen most of the time)
• 1 C. heavy cream
• 1 C. milk
• 2 T. Sugar
• 1 t. salt
• 1/2 t. white pepper
• 1/2 t. black pepper
• 1/4 t. accent (I have NEVER used)
• 1/2 t. garlic powder
• 1/2 t. thyme
• 4 oz butter
• 2 T. flour

In a stock pot, combine first 10 ingredients. Slowly bring to a boil. (if using frozen corn, I cook part way). Reduce to a simmer. Simmer 3 minutes.

In a separate sauce pan, bring the butter to a boil. Stir in flour. Ad this mixture to the simmering corn.

Stirring occasionally, simmer for 3 more minutes. Keep warm until serving.

sweet potato casserole

i had never heard of sweet potato casserole until i met my ex husband's family.  we had just started dating and went over to have some thanksgiving dinner with them.  it was the first 'real' thanksgiving that i felt was like home to me.  the dodson family is all from tennessee and cook great southern style foods...no matter what it is....so yummy!  i fell in love with the family and their food that day :)  one of my favorite things (which everything has become my favorite for the holidays) is the sweet potato casserole.  i asked for the recipe.  i see looks flying across the table....uh oh....what had i done now....i had experienced people telling me they don't share their recipes, so i was thinking fast as how to save this situation with declining needing it.....then the story came out.... it was from my {then} boyfriend's ex girlfriend.  seems it was a secret family recipe of her family that she shared to win this family over to her.  it wasn't supposed to be shared, but guess what?????  i got it ;)

and as in most of my recipes, as i am sure you do, it has been changed....to protect the innocent to make it my own.  one year -- and many since then, our family has not been eating white sugar or white flour. so i made some changes to it to make it more healthy, and no one seems to take notice and its really good.

Sweet Potato Casserole

• 2 C. sweet potatoes, baked
• 1 C. sugar (I use 1/2 C. honey)
• 1/2 t. salt
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 1/4 C. butter
• 1/2 C. milk, maybe more
• 1 t. vanilla

Mix these together and top with:

• 1 C. brown sugar (I have used sucanat, but not as good)
• 1 C. chopped pecans
• 1/2 C. flour--i usually use whole wheat, but this year will experiment with gluten free ingredients
• 6 T. butter

Bake at 350 for 35 minutes.

this recipe, the biscuits with cranberry sauce and the turkey and gravy are the ONLY things my family will eat for left overs....I am left with all the other good stuff :)

not one, not two, but three!

i have been very neglectful of my commitment to posting some of our holiday foods and the traditions around them....it has been a very busy fall! our holiday meals--Thanksgiving and Christmas are always the same....unless i am just too busy and worn out to try to make them twice...but even then, i usually end up making them...it just wouldn't be those holidays with out that food.....

our menu usually consists of:

• turkey--the recipe for our very, VERY favorite turkey is here
• dressing (of which ALLLLLL the children HATE--but i love)
• cranberry sauce (s)--the reason for this post....
• gravy--find this with the turkey recipe ^^
• biscuits--buttermilk, not sweet biscuits
• yeast rolls--the recipe for those is here
• mashed potatoes
• sweet potato casserole
• waldorf salad
• green beans
• III forks corn
• pumpkin pie--this has become a crustless pumpkin pie that everyone LOVES
• pecan pie--last year we made pecan bars that were SCRUMPTIOUS!
• blackberry cobbler
• and anything anyone else wants to bring, fix or add to this :)

i grew up eating cranberry sauce out of a can--whenever we had it...which wasn't often.  i hated it.  it was nasty stuff to me.  anything that comes plopping out of a can with that sound....yikes!  and then you had to cut it like cold butter....YUK!  NO offense if you LIKE that kind of cranberry sauce, but I DID NOT.

the first time i had cranberry cause that i like, was one year at my dad's home.  my step-mom had me make it.  honestly.  i didn't even know such a thing existed.  so, she taught me how to make it, which was rather easy....

• a bag of cranberries
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 cup water
• the rind of one orange

put all that in a pot on the stove, boil til they start 'popping' and take it off the stove...that easy....i was a little hesitant.  it didn't look like the stuff in the can...but then i tasted it.....sooooo yummy!  i could have eaten the whole pan of it ;) with my turkey, with my biscuits, with my dressing...with everything and by itself.  i LOVED it.

i began making it for my family--they didn't have my same opinion of it ;)  so...to not lose the ability to still have it and be able to enjoy it...and the {sometimes} adventurous cook that i can be.....i decided to experiment.  I changed the water to orange juice....that helped.

one day, i was perusing....not sure what now...the internet, a magazine or the tv, but i heard or saw a recipe using fresh ginger.  we love ginger, so i decided to try it.  i went to make it and realized that the only juice i had was orange mango.  i used it.  we LOVED it.

so, another time, i didn't have white sugar....i know.....how can that happen at thanksgiving.....and this was before the time when the stores remained open.  i am sure i had used it all on the pies made the days before.  so....i used brown sugar.  it was AWESOME.

then.  last year, we added a bit of finely chopped jalepeno to it....not my favorite, but some of the guys loved it, too.

SO...NOW...here we are with several people liking their cranberry sauce different ways....so we make them all ;)

if this is confusing....comment and i will clarify...but basically its the same recipe on the bag of cranberries with our own adaptations and experimentations.....and let this be an encouragement...you can probably add many more different things and make it your own, too.

stepping stones

i was in a lost place.  i felt like i was drowning very quickly. i knew from what i had been told and what i was learning that i had...HAD to keep my focus on God.  there were so many things that were spinning around and were vying for my attention.  i wanted to know what to do next and what the next few days {weeks, months and years} would look like.....God gave me a very vivid picture.  He said  'trust me with your next step.....just the next step' and the picture was of me was in a creek of swirling waters and as i was feeling like i was losing my step, a stone rose up from the water. he said to step on it.  i did.  i stood firmly and solidly for a few minutes. then the water began to rise again....i was getting scared that the water was going to take me off the stone--i was balancing on my tippy toes to stay on by then...and as the water came up just high enough to knock me over , another stone rose up out of the water for me to step on.  i jumped on that one.  and the same thing happened over and over again.  i didn't see the stones under the water. they just appeared--one at a time....right when i needed it to.

what god said was....this is trusting me....the next step will show itself when its time--not too soon or not too late...just in time.

you've got mail.....

i am learning that nothing...NO thing is wasted, accidental, coincidence, or happenstance.....god is showing me just how big he is and how he has everything under {his} control and he is working it all out for my good and his glory. there are so many things that happen each day that i know he has sent to me or for me.  it is my job to pay attention and see what he is saying and what he wants me to do with it. just today....i met a friend for coffee at our neighborhood starbucks.  i had saved up my calories, money and caffeine intake to partake in a yummy pumpkin spice latte.  it was good ;)  while there we were sharing where we were in life.  we were both struggling with some of the fall out from divorce and men who choose another life than the one they had.  we weren't 'ex' bashing and we weren't angry...just telling it like it is.....there was this lady and a teen aged boy sitting next to us...and we are kinda in close quarters there.....as she got up, she asked if she could say some thing....we said sure....she said i hope i am not being rude or anything but that she overheard us talking and wanted to speak to us....she told her son to go to the car...ok...at that moment, i thought 'oh boy...we are fixing to get raked for something we said....' she said 'i heard you say that you were trusting god with child support and i heard you say that you were praying for your hurting children.....(again, I thought she was not happy with what her son had heard, maybe?)...then she said...i am going through a divorce and i would like to ask you to pray for me.'  i was shocked.  that anyone would think that i would have anything to offer someone who is in such pain.....

and then god spoke to my heart....he said...i didn't bring you to this place for your enjoyment.  yes, you thought so.  and you made room in your calendar for not only your friend and you, but this broken hearted woman.  i have opportunities all over the place for you like this...i just need you to pay attention....and listen......

i speak to you through every situation and every person you come in contact with.

of course we prayed for her!  and we exchanged information and i am praying that there is more interaction.

as my sweet hubby likes to say.....you have mail for me and i have mail for you....its up to us to open the letters and see what He is saying to us in them.

shredded beef tacos--or fuzzy's tacos :)

i found this recipe in the dallas morning news a loooooong time ago....we have adapted it {of course} and now it has a life of its own....what i love about this recipe is that it is a crock pot recipe....so i can fix it and forget it :) we have also found one of our favorite eating out places....fuzzy's.  they have great queso and wonderful shredded beef tacos.  well. one day, we decided that we could recreate fuzzy's tacos with our own shredded beef recipe.  the secret is the toppings on the taco.....

shredded beef tacos

• 1 roast (i use whatever kind is on sale and big enough to feed the masses
• 1 large onion, cut in quarters
• 3 cloves of garlic
• 1/4 cup water
• 1 jar salsa (we use Joe T. Garcia's)
• shredded cheese
• crumbled feta cheese--THIS is the secret ingredient to copying fuzzy's
• chopped cilantro--this is the second secret ingredient
• tortillas--either flour or corn (corn is our preference for this recipe)
• thinly sliced purple onion
• shredded lettuce
• additional salsa--either jarred or homemade {see this post for my homemade version :) }
• fuzzy's style garlic sauce--recipe to follow :)

i put the onion, garlic and water in the crock pot and then lay the meat on top.  i cook on warm if we want it for dinner the next day....or low if we want it for lunch after church.....when the roast is tender, take it out and shred it.  dump the crock pot drippings out and put the roast back in with the jar of salsa.  mix well and cook until warmed.  meanwhile, i cook our corn tortillas in a skillet with a little olive oil.

to serve, we spread the garlic sauce on a hot tortilla and put the the meat in the tortilla and start adding your favorite toppings.

Creamy Garlic Sauce

• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 Tb. butter
• 1 cup mayo
• 1/4 tsp. pepper
• 1/4 tsp. garlic powder

Sauté garlic in butter over low heat until golden (about 5 minutes).  Add garlic/butter to 1 cup mayo and blend.  Add pepper and garlic powder.  Put on your taco first thing and enjoy!!!

so yummy!!!

its fall, y'all

i wish i could say i have a really good reason for not blogging lately--or on a more regular basis.  and i am hoping to get some accountability in my writing, but until then...you get what you get and you don't throw a fit.  hehe...i have been wanting to say that all week. we have been busy....my sweet hubby and i have both served at several ministry opportunities...some of them have been 3 and 4 days long....we have had 4 birthdays, school starting, schedules changing, kids leaving home which means rearranging rooms..then there are the clothes to get switched out....oh, and we had a small fire in the middle of the night a couple of weeks ago....after a hail storm and water leak had already had our home under construction to a degree.....

can i just say that i am glad fall is here.....a new season.  fall has to be my favorite season {if you take out allergies}....i have lots of fun recipes to share and was very faithful last year to take pictures of all of our holiday favorites...i will begin posting those next week.

until then...enjoy the color, enjoy the cool, enjoy all the great things god has given us this day!!!

labels

I shared this with a special group of women this morning and know god told me to post it here, also.

i have been really struggling lately with who i am and what my purpose is.  i am reaching the season when my children don't need me {as much} and while i love, love , LOVE being at home, i know i have a call on my life and i also know i need to help with the family income.  not necessarily on a regular basis, but for when things come up....and with my family, a birthday is always coming up ;)

i have been truly, abundantly blessed with the ability to do many things.  i have a heart to serve and work with women.  i have a heart to see and highlight beauty--whether through photography, the written word, the healing of a wounded heart, the light of recognition and peace in the eyes of a child who has been a bit rebellious.....through food, through laughter, through cups of coffee, through a beautiful room.

i have found myself questioning what i am to be 'doing'.  what 'my life call' is.  just yesterday, i got a call from someone who wanted to talk to me about my resume that i had recently submitted.  i got all excited and as i hung up, i felt this overwhelming need to know if 'this was it'...if THIS is what i have been called to.  i started crying out to God.....

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??????  WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO???????

the next thing.

what?????

the next thing.  all i am asking you to do is the next thing.

this morning as i was waking up, i heard this phrase again...the next thing.  i asked--what does that mean?

you want a job, you want a name, you want a title, you want a label.  you want a plan...you want to know....i have no labels for you.  you are my child.  i have gifted you with what i want you to have for the reasons that only i know of.  rest in that.  be at peace.  know that i am leading you and as long as you are willing to follow, there are no mistakes.  there are no wasted days.

ok...i have to say here...i have felt feel that there are many days that i sit at home and read, listen to my worship music, look at pictures, talk to a friend.  and on those days, i feel i have wasted them.  i have to fight the lie that i am lazy--see my post on strongholds--(and for future reference: i will be posting about what to do once you realize you have believed a lie.....)

so to hear god speak that what i am doing is exactly what he has called me to do and that i am not wasting days is a HUGE brain twist.  now.  my heart so hears it and just sings to hear it....but the world....my tie to the world and what it might think of me really gets in the way.....

so, as i was reflecting on this truth, he brought back a post i did a ways back.....you can read it here.....and it brings it all back into perspective.

so, as i wrestle with who i am and what my job is, this picture came across my computer.  i love it.  it represents who i am in god's eyes.....

can't see the forest

i have been wrestling lately with seeing the big picture.  i was talking to my kids about this and the word perspective came up ;)  i was explaining to them how when i am in the middle of a challenge that all i can see in front of me is the challenge...or the rejection or correction or mistake or, or, or.... that in these times i have to remember the trees.  trees for me take on many different personas and meanings, so i will explain this one....

when all i can see in front of me is the {ahem} challenge.....it seems so big, so not overcomable, so in front of your face.  to me, that is like being right in front of a tree, not seeing anything but the bark or the ants crawling on the bark. its pretty (in its own way) but not the picture i really want to see.....i have to back up....to get a better perspective on the situation.....to get God's perspective on the situation.

its like standing in the forest and you can't see where to go next, but if you were in a helicopter looking down, you would be able to see exactly where you were, where you were going and what to do next.  i don't always get a good picture of all of that, but what happens when i ask to see things from his perspective, is that it all starts to make sense (even when it doesn't, i know that it will) and it begins to flow...and i quit trying to study the bark and see the trail that winds between the trees to another place.

if i can keep his perspective, the whole picture changes......

....into something of beauty, order and that brings hope and the promise of  purpose.

organized? ME?

i have many people say to me that i must be very organized to run a home with 9 children, manage 2 businesses (ok...they manage me) and have the ministry opportunities that i do in my home.

let me just say....i am not.

i may have order to my life.  i may have  a routine in our home, but i am not organized.  ok. well, maybe a little. because i wouldn't be able to do some of these things if i didn't have some of the tools in place that i do.  i will try to share about them as time goes on, but this is one that i have found to be really good!

i saw this in some magazine.  i thought it might be worth a shot.  it has worked pretty well.

this is what i do:  every person has their own stickie color.  i have a master calendar i have put on the inside of  my back door.  the back door is great, because it is metal...it holds magnet things (that my refrigerator doesn't) like lunch menus, permission slips, birthday invites, etc.

on the stickies, it put the event and time and who (for those who don't do color coding at my house)....there are some days--as you can see--that we have several stickies all in a row.  that is what i love about it.  each person has their own space to write out what they need for that day and event.  if it needs to be changed--say like a dr appointment  that moved--then i just move the sticky to that day. since school has started there are many days with looooonnnnngggg rows of stickies.  (this picture was taken in June when things were trying to wind down)

you do have to have a large space to get all the days on and room for all the stickies, but i love this...it works!  i have also bolted a white board onto my back door.  this was an earlier attempt to organize that didn't last...but it works for messages and doodles (as you can tell)..i have since cleaned it and now it is just plain ole white.

if you try it or have another great organizing tip, let me know!  i am always looking for new and improved ways of managing my ever changing household.

my very {p} interesting life

 

I had no idea how boring my life had gotten until i found pinterest.  i didn't realize how much i had been just surviving and getting by.   this has been the shot in the arm i needed to get back to creating.  we have had so much fun with this.  the first big push came with back to school.  my youngest daughter had this idea that if she gifted her new teacher, she would be able to sail through 2nd grade.....so she decided to peruse the back to school teacher gifts....and we found one :)

we will have to wait awhile to get the results on this :)

the next thing on the schedule was changing rooms around....well, actually, it was changing kids from the rooms they were in....we have had kids move in and move out this summer, so we had rooms that needed occupying and redecorating.....so on to pinterest we go....we found this really cute idea for decorating on a non existent  tight budget.  it worked!

next...as you have figured out by now...i like to cook!  i love recipes.  i love to try the ones that sound like they actually may be liked here in my home with all these picky eaters food critics.  i have found some YUMMY things on here. there will be recipes coming!

what i have found through pinterest is that my desire to create and be creative has come back with a vengeance.  i have found a great place to feed that motivation that many times lags behind the push of everyday life.

i love pinterest.  i found this 'definition' of it...and while it would be easy to waste a lot of time, i do think its like everything else....take the good, throw out the bad.....

are you a member to pinterest?  how are you using it?  have you tried anything?  what has been your most successful or favorite venture?

I'd love to hear what your experience has been with it!

Thank you......

I received these images (below) in an email--you know, the kinds that have been forwarded a million and one times...and i hardly ever pay attention. but something prompted me to keep scrolling down....these images brought me to tears and brought back some pain i didn't realize i still had.

i was a 'military brat'. my step father was a marine and we traveled and moved and he was sent to viet nam 3 times from the time my mom met him to the time he was dishonorably discharged from the military (you can read more about THAT here )

while i was proud of the military and what my step father did at work, i didn't understand the depth of his sacrifice. i know that while he was in sin toward me and my mom and my little brother, he was a very wounded man. i am sure lots of his messed up-ness ( i know--not a word) came from the experiences he had in the military and while on duty for our country.

i have had a lot of anger and bitterness toward the military and the damage it did to me and my family....i also am very grateful for the sacrifices we have ALL made to make our country a better place. lots of sacrifices that aren't talked about.....

i also realize that in my anger and denial of the importance of these men and women in our lives, that i have neglected to teach my children the depth of gratitude we owe these --heroes--for lack of any other word that could be strong enough. the heroes aren't JUST those who died and gave their lives, a lot of heroes are those who died and still lived....those who had to keep going when their lives ended as they knew them. my heart breaks for the sacrifices that have been made on my behalf. i hope and pray i can give my children a deeper appreciation for those who have sacrificed for them (no, not just me :) ).....

while we are having fun playing in the hotel pool, eating our favorite foods and watching fireworks, i pray that god will give me the words to share what this 'party' really is for.....

International Picture of the Year.

Here are two very touching photos honored this year.

First Place :

First Place

Todd Heisler The Rocky Mountain News

When 2nd Lt. James Cathey's body arrived at the Reno Airport , Marines climbed into the cargo hold of the plane and draped the flag over his casket as passengers watched the family gather on the tarmac.

During the arrival of another Marine's casket last year at Denver International Airport , Major Steve Beck described the scene as so powerful: 'See the people in the windows? They sat right there in the plane, watching those Marines. You gotta wonder what's going through their minds, knowing that they're on the plane that brought him home,' he said 'They will remember being on that plane for the rest of their lives. They're going to remember bringing that Marine home. And they should.'

Second Place

Second Place

Todd Heisler The Rocky Mountain News

The night before the burial of her husband's body, Katherine Cathey refused to leave the casket, asking to sleep next to his body for the last time. The Marines made a bed for her, tucking in the sheets below the flag. Before she fell asleep, she opened her laptop computer and played songs that reminded her of 'Cat,' and one of the Marines asked if she wanted them to continue standing watch as she slept. 'I think it would be kind of nice if you kept doing it,' she said. 'I think that's what he would have wanted'.

And the one that really tightens MY throat:

strongholds

have you or any of your children ever played this little game?  if i had a dollar for every time one of mine did this, i would be living on the beach ;)

i wish i could say i have outgrown this little game, but i am beginning to see how i continue to play it daily....but with much more serious consequences than spaghetti sauce on my face.

this little game...the 'look, mom, i'm in jail' game whopped me upside the head a while back and God is not letting it out of my sight.....he is showing me that this is what a stronghold looks like...from the outside.  from the inside view, this little prison can seem so big and so captivating.  when in reality, all i have to do is change my perspective--see it from the outside view.

a stronghold, i am learning is a lie i have chosen to believe {about myself} that has me in a prison of my own making.  it may be something that was spoken over me when i was younger--by an angry mom, an abusive dad, a well meaning, but misdirected correction from a teacher--or of late, an ex-husband who no longer wanted to be married to me and looked {and still looking} for ways to prove his opinion of me and his justification of leaving.

the lies can be so innocuous....'i need to weigh a certain number before i can be of any worth', 'you will never amount to anything', 'its a good thing you look good, because you can't do anything else', 'i must be everything to everyone in my home {and outside it} to be of any value', 'if my house isn't clean {at all times}, i am a failure' 'i had it {insert whatever *it* is} coming'......and one of the latest (i am being very honest and transparent) is that i am 'certifiably nuts'--the list goes on and on and on......

the truth is none of this is true...

i have been able to see some of them and dispel them....speak truth against them.  some of them kick me in the rear and keep me down....all of my own doing, of course. no one has the right to speak to me other than my father, and he speaks only truth.....and not one word of what i have heard in my head is what he speaks to my heart....not one.

i am beginning to see that letting go of a stronghold can be very difficult....lots of work is involved in 'unbelieving' a lie, but it can also be as simple as taking the fork out from in front of my eye.....